We got rid of the 4 runner! SO glad it's gone. We now own a Suburban with a 4 inch lift that seats 9 people. Yup, 9 people can get in there. So, it would be the perfect rig if I still wanted 7 kids. THANK GOD I DON'T! I am done with our two daughters. No more babies for me. Is it sad that Alexis is a month old and I already miss my pregnant belly? I miss it more than normal because I will never be pregnant again. That was my last time. I sure hope I enjoyed it as much as I could.
Potty training Haylie has been more trying today. I want to rip my hair out. I am so done fallowing her around to clean up the carpet. But what can you do? Alexis is sitting up on her own now. Not entirely, but if I have her on my knee and hold her around her hips she can hold her upper body up by herself. She's a strong baby. I bet she'll be an early crawler. Her hair is getting lighter too. Now it's the color Haylie's was when she was born. We could very possibly have two tow heads.
I've been thinking about becoming an art teacher lately. I used to want to be a choir director, but I can't read sheet music so that would be a problem. Of course I could always learn, but I think I would rather be an art teacher. Or maybe an English teacher. I could easily assign reading material and make kids write essays and speeches. The main reason I want to be an art teacher though is that art is such a reflection of your inner person, it's a great way to actually see people. A great way to see the person they hide away from everyone else. Art is self expression. I've already started to think about how I would teach it, what my method would be, if I would include art history or not. I don't just want to be a stay at home mom forever. When the girls go to school I'll want a career of my own. I could do online and night school now and when they go to kindergarten I could start working. It would also really help us out financially. We would be able to take trips and possibly even visit my family back east. Something I REALLY want to do before anyone else passes away. I've already missed the opportunity to know my grandfather and my aunt.
Anyway, I came across some of my old journals today. Flipped through them some. I really appreciate my husband after I read what I wrote about my ex. I mean, I REALLY appreciate my husband. He's amazing. I spent my whole relationship with my ex worried that he was cheating (because he was) and wondering what all he was lying about (he lied about literally everything) and dealing with the abuse to top it all off. Brandon has NEVER given me any reason to doubt him or his love for me. I've never thought he was cheating. I've never felt the need to 'snoop' through his things to prove he was faithful. I've never even noticed him looking at another woman and finding her attractive. And I know the look. Believe you me. I saw it every day with my ex. He always saw the beautiful women, and many times he compared them to me. I never measured up. I should have had black hair, emerald green eyes, milk white skin, blah blah blah. I get it! I needed hair dye, colored contacts and my skin bleached! But Brandon has always accepted me as I am and never wanted me any different. How did I get so lucky? I found my soul mate the second go around. How many girls can say that? I've only dated two people my whole life. And my husband has only been with me. How lucky are we?
First of all I think you would be an AMAZING art teacher...GO YOU!!! Second I know exactly how you feel about reflecting back on the ex and being grateful for the one you have now. I too was with a very abusive man and stayed with him for 5 years and two kids and was terrified to leave for fear that he would kill me. So I endured the abuse and to the point to where his anger spilled phyisically onto our oldest son. I think about how far I have come since then and I am thankful everyday that there are great men out there and that God sends them to us when we need them, and appreciate them. Without the history that we have had, our husbands would not be the prince's that they are today. We look at them in a different light, one that shines on them in our darkest hour and helps us to undedrstand that no matter what trials we may go through with them, they are our safety and our security, and our bestfriends...and nothing is greater than that!!!
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